A. Whitney Brown Quotes (11+)

I'm not an atheist. I'm a comedian.

How can you not believe in something that doesn't exist? That's way too convoluted for me.

The very fact that the jaguar can become extinct while the Pekingese survives indicates that someone hasn't thought this thing through.

Any good history book is mainly just a long list of mistakes.

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student.

Plant trees. They give us two of the most crucial elements for our survival: oxygen and books.

The past actually happened. History is what someone took the time to write down.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

I am as frustrated with society as a pyromaniac in a petrified forest.

That is the saving grace of humor: If you fail no one is laughing at you.