Dave Barry Quotes (12+)

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.

The one thing that unites all human beings is that we all believe that we are above average drivers.

You should not confuse your career with your life.

When trouble arises, there is always one individual who perceives a solution. Often, that individual is crazy.

Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

If you had to identify why the human race has not achieved its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.

If someone is nice to you but rude to the waiter, they are not a nice person.

A sense of humor is a measurement of the extent to which we realize that we are trapped in a world almost totally devoid of reason.

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far Ive finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.