Fred Allen Quotes (11+)

I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and... I forgot the third.

A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise planting vines.

If criticism had any power to harm, the skunk would be extinct by now.

My hometown was so dull that one time the tide went out and never came back.

Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.

Suppressed laughter spreads to your hips.

Television is a device that permits people with nothing to do to watch people who can't do anything.

A celebrity works hard to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid it.

A committee is a group of people who meet and decide that nothing can be done.

I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me.

A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.