Groucho Marx Quotes (11+)

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly.

I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

I find television very educating. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.