Phones are better than girlfriends, At least we can switch off.

There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. HER HEART.

I’m cool but global warming made me hot

I’m pretty sure my prayers go directly to God’s spam folder.

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once!

You cry, I cry, …you laugh, I laugh…you jump off a cliff I laugh even harder!!

If your brain was money, you wouldn't have a cent