Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.

Life is a process. We are a process. The Universe is a process.

A simple way to take the measure of a country is to look at how many want in . . . and how many want out.

A gentleman is one who puts more into the world than he takes out.

We are what we believe we are.

Stand-up comedy is the only job where you get paid to talk to yourself.

If you want happiness for a lifetime—help someone else.