You don’t realize how many clothes you have, until you wash them.

I'm totally a cheap date, I don't pay for anything.

Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.

You cry, I cry, …you laugh, I laugh…you jump off a cliff I laugh even harder!!

Online by public demand

I love my job only when I’m on vacation.

Sorry about those texts I sent you, last night, my phone was drunk.